I thought I would try and figure out just why the Dodgers are as bad as their record shows. The obvious answer is that they aren't scoring enough runs. And that's basically the conclusion I came to.
If you consider that Offense makes up about 50% of your teams overall contribution, pitching 35% and defense 15%, the Dodgers are missing a good 40% in there somewhere.
The offense has been abysmal.
Last in HR.
Last in 2B.
OPS+ 91
14th of 16 NL teams in SLG.
9th in BB
8th in hits.
11th in runs scored
and the one bright spot, 15th in K's.
Considering what components the offense is made up of and the inconsistencies at which they play the game (Kent, Furcal, Jones, Pierre, and Nomar). This group makes 58 million dollars to ride the bench, max out at a 70 OPS+ with putrid defense, or are on the DL. For that amount of money we could have had the Marlins and Pirates!
The pitching has been well. Not great, though without looking at the stats I can tell you that the starters have been somewhat inconsistent and the bullpen has held the team together. An ERA+ of 111 is nice.
8th in K's
5th in ERA
3.3 BB/game (average)
and first in HR per game (.07!)
What has been letting the pitching down is the defense.
21 Throwing Errors! Only the Marlins are worse.
but only 13 Fielding errors (second best in NL)
only a CS% of 21%. Martin needs rest wether he wants it or not.
A RZR (revised zone rating- plays made into outs that were made in the players "zone") of .819% where the league average is .832
OOZ (plays made out of the players "zone") of 155 vs. league avg of 144. not bad.
Infield RZR .766 vs. league avg of .784
infield ooz 82 vs league avg of 68
outfield RZR of .900 vs league avg .904
outfield OOZ 73 vs league avg 75.
The outfield has been league average at best. I think with Jones instead of Pierre we are a much better team (defensively). Kemp has been a nice replacement.
The infield has some nice points and seriously bad ones too. While they can make plays out of their typical playing area, they seem to have "throwing" issues with normal everyday plays in their playing area. Sounds like a James Loney/ Rafael Furcal issue.
The "core" players make up roughly 65% of the teams production to the game. The pitchers make up the rest. It's fair to say with Esteban Loaiza (7 million), Jason Schmidt (15 million), and any of the high priced, overvalued vaterans the team could very easily be the NL west equivalent of the Pirates. Ned Colletti is lucky to Logan White continue to stock the team full of talented players with high ceilings. Too bad Ned keeps blocking them with overpriced washed up veterans.
My hopes, as are with the rest of you, are that Jones finds his stroke when he comes back, that Furcal comes back at all, that Penny decides to pitch like an ace, that Pierre gets booted out the door, that we get a fielding and throwing coach, and that some of these young kids start hitting the way we know they can.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Too Strong!
Making trades and moves that would make the Dodgers a better team would just make them too good. That's why Ned Colletti signed Juan Pierre (9 million), Jason Schmidt (16 million), Nomar Garciaparra (9 million), and Andruw Jones (18 million). I wonder if Ned is getting a commission on these or something?
Why wouldn't Colletti save some of that money to waste on a young starter just getting ready to blossom out of Cleveland. CC Sabatthia. He kinda reminds me of the left handed version of Brad Penny.
When is Colletti's job on the line? It appears that meddling owner Frank McCourt is too proud to admit to making a mistake. It's time to go internal for our next general manager. Kim Ng or Logan White. Or the both of them together. Logan obviously has the beat on all young up and comers while Kim has made strides in free agent signing. Colletti has to go. We all know that. It's time for a new era in Dodger Baseball. The young era.
Why wouldn't Colletti save some of that money to waste on a young starter just getting ready to blossom out of Cleveland. CC Sabatthia. He kinda reminds me of the left handed version of Brad Penny.
When is Colletti's job on the line? It appears that meddling owner Frank McCourt is too proud to admit to making a mistake. It's time to go internal for our next general manager. Kim Ng or Logan White. Or the both of them together. Logan obviously has the beat on all young up and comers while Kim has made strides in free agent signing. Colletti has to go. We all know that. It's time for a new era in Dodger Baseball. The young era.
K- Zone
Instant replay has been discussed around various baseball communities as MLB is using instant replay in the minor leagues to see how well it works. I think this is a step forward in the right direction. Without naming the numerous blown calls in the playoffs that have let teams escape a loss and go on to win, how many more calls are blown in the regular season that go unnoticed?
In time baseball umpiring should be completely monitored by computers. The human eye is just too... human. Particularly when it comes to the strike zone. When I considered the origin of the game, and the creators thereof, how would they have wanted the game "umpired"? If you gave them the option to have a digital representation of the strike zone for pitchers to pitch to (granted were talking about the late 1800's here) would they have used that opposed to the current human umpires used today? No doubt, I think, they would have used the "K-Zone" that FOX and ESPN use now. It's just my opinion.
Obviously the game would change. Managers would have to manage a game instead of running out to the umpire to plead his hopeless case and get run from the game. The game would also change for the better. At the moment we do not know about umpires secret lives. We do not know how many Tim Donaghee's there are out there. AND based on what I have seen, not just as a Dodger fan, but also wathcing Yankee, Red Sox, Mariners, and tons of NL and AL West games, it's pretty easy to see where umpires make bad or "favorable" calls to one team or the other. The strike zone expands for one team and not the other?
Don't get me started on check swings! As I understand the rule, it is considered a swing if the bat crosses the ball. Meaning you should literally have to pull your bat back when the ball approaches. How many players hold their bat level over the plate as the ball crosses it. And bunt attempts? Many left handed players are running out of the box while trying to decide if they are going to bunt or not and never actually bring the bat back.
It has become a frustrating game to watch.
In time baseball umpiring should be completely monitored by computers. The human eye is just too... human. Particularly when it comes to the strike zone. When I considered the origin of the game, and the creators thereof, how would they have wanted the game "umpired"? If you gave them the option to have a digital representation of the strike zone for pitchers to pitch to (granted were talking about the late 1800's here) would they have used that opposed to the current human umpires used today? No doubt, I think, they would have used the "K-Zone" that FOX and ESPN use now. It's just my opinion.
Obviously the game would change. Managers would have to manage a game instead of running out to the umpire to plead his hopeless case and get run from the game. The game would also change for the better. At the moment we do not know about umpires secret lives. We do not know how many Tim Donaghee's there are out there. AND based on what I have seen, not just as a Dodger fan, but also wathcing Yankee, Red Sox, Mariners, and tons of NL and AL West games, it's pretty easy to see where umpires make bad or "favorable" calls to one team or the other. The strike zone expands for one team and not the other?
Don't get me started on check swings! As I understand the rule, it is considered a swing if the bat crosses the ball. Meaning you should literally have to pull your bat back when the ball approaches. How many players hold their bat level over the plate as the ball crosses it. And bunt attempts? Many left handed players are running out of the box while trying to decide if they are going to bunt or not and never actually bring the bat back.
It has become a frustrating game to watch.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The Untouchables~
The 2008 Dodgers isn't built to win. It's time to either have a major overhaul to try and salvage the season and hope for a hot streak with some new players or build for next year. But it's obvious we need to get better and make some trades. Instead of determining who to trade, lets establish who absolutely can not be moved at all.
And in no particular order:
Chad Billingsly- The closest thing we have to an ace.
Clayton Kershaw- The second closest thing we to an ace.
Matt Kemp- Perrenial all-star/ Golg Glove winner/ Silver Slugger/ MVP.
Russell Martin- What more can be said. THE BEST CATCHER IN THE GAME!
Johnathen Broxton- His youth, contract, and durability make him unreplaceable.
Takashi Saito- Even with his age he is one of the best in the game. Great K rates and even better control with great late movement make him unreplaceable.
Rafael Furcal- Lets just hope Ned does the smart thing and locks him up.
There are a few second tier players that deserve credit where credit is due. It's unlikely that we can unload them and get something back of equal or greater value.
Guys like:
James Loney. It's time we see that Silver Slugger bat come alive. AND he needs to be more consistent with the glove!!! It's possible to get someone better than Loney. He is a good player, has a nice swing, but he just needs to, dare i say, be... more... consistent. (shades of Joe Morgan)
Andre Ethier. Really he should be on the list above, but his OPS+ is ok~ (113), but arm and defense are great. Because of that it would be really hard to replace him with someone better. But it is possible.
Blake Dewitt. It would take a really sweet offer to find someone more likeable and talented as Dewitt. He shows that he has the talent to take over the starting job at third. Lets hope his young head can stay in it.
Joe Beimel. How can you not like the guy. He has a role and he fits perfectly in it. He is above average at what he does and clearly for the Dodgers no one else can do what he does. But there are a few available Left Hand relievers that are better.
Hong Chi Kuo. His strike out rate is as advertised. He has great stuff. But I don't want him to be around when he needs another Tommy John surgery. Eventually they are going to run out of tendons in his body to stick in that elbow.
Hiroki Kuroda. A nice pitcher. He is a nice 3rd or 4th starter. If he continues to go 7 on a mimimal pitch count he is worth having around. Still a question mark as this is his first season in the bigs.
As far as I'm concerned, everyone else is fair game.
Brad Penny
Derek Lowe
Chan Ho Park
Esteban Loaiza
Mark Sweeney
Gary Bennett
Nomar
Pierre
Jones
Schmidt
Proctor
Naturally I have a plan!
Pierre and Hu for Maddux and a prospect.
edit: Tony Abreu, Andy Laroche, Derek Lowe Jaime Pedroza, Justin Orenduff, and Greg Miller for CC Sabatthia.
Jones and Lowe for Bobby Abreu.
Greg Miller, Eric Stults, Andy Laroche, Tony Abreu, and John Meloan for Brian Roberts.
Cut Kent, Sweeney, Bennett, and hope Schmidt just retires already.
And in no particular order:
Chad Billingsly- The closest thing we have to an ace.
Clayton Kershaw- The second closest thing we to an ace.
Matt Kemp- Perrenial all-star/ Golg Glove winner/ Silver Slugger/ MVP.
Russell Martin- What more can be said. THE BEST CATCHER IN THE GAME!
Johnathen Broxton- His youth, contract, and durability make him unreplaceable.
Takashi Saito- Even with his age he is one of the best in the game. Great K rates and even better control with great late movement make him unreplaceable.
Rafael Furcal- Lets just hope Ned does the smart thing and locks him up.
There are a few second tier players that deserve credit where credit is due. It's unlikely that we can unload them and get something back of equal or greater value.
Guys like:
James Loney. It's time we see that Silver Slugger bat come alive. AND he needs to be more consistent with the glove!!! It's possible to get someone better than Loney. He is a good player, has a nice swing, but he just needs to, dare i say, be... more... consistent. (shades of Joe Morgan)
Andre Ethier. Really he should be on the list above, but his OPS+ is ok~ (113), but arm and defense are great. Because of that it would be really hard to replace him with someone better. But it is possible.
Blake Dewitt. It would take a really sweet offer to find someone more likeable and talented as Dewitt. He shows that he has the talent to take over the starting job at third. Lets hope his young head can stay in it.
Joe Beimel. How can you not like the guy. He has a role and he fits perfectly in it. He is above average at what he does and clearly for the Dodgers no one else can do what he does. But there are a few available Left Hand relievers that are better.
Hong Chi Kuo. His strike out rate is as advertised. He has great stuff. But I don't want him to be around when he needs another Tommy John surgery. Eventually they are going to run out of tendons in his body to stick in that elbow.
Hiroki Kuroda. A nice pitcher. He is a nice 3rd or 4th starter. If he continues to go 7 on a mimimal pitch count he is worth having around. Still a question mark as this is his first season in the bigs.
As far as I'm concerned, everyone else is fair game.
Brad Penny
Derek Lowe
Chan Ho Park
Esteban Loaiza
Mark Sweeney
Gary Bennett
Nomar
Pierre
Jones
Schmidt
Proctor
Naturally I have a plan!
Pierre and Hu for Maddux and a prospect.
edit: Tony Abreu, Andy Laroche, Derek Lowe Jaime Pedroza, Justin Orenduff, and Greg Miller for CC Sabatthia.
Juan Pierre, Josh Bell, John Lindsey, Chin Lung Hu, and Scott Elbert for Brian Roberts.
Garrett White, James Adkins, Yhency Brazoban, Andruw Jones and Ramon Troncoso for Bobby Abreu. (It may take more for this one.)
Jones and Lowe for Bobby Abreu.
Greg Miller, Eric Stults, Andy Laroche, Tony Abreu, and John Meloan for Brian Roberts.
Cut Kent, Sweeney, Bennett, and hope Schmidt just retires already.
Friday, May 23, 2008
So much for sanity.
It's official.
Andruw Jones is the worst player in baseball.
Who would have thought that 18 million a year would have bitten back so badly? Ned Colletti must be turning in his grave.
It's time that he have the "arthroscopic surgery" and get put on the 60 day DL. I say "arthroscopic surgery" because I don't think he is actually injured. He is just trying to blame something other than his obesity for his MLB worst performance.
Even if he is somewhat injured, the cause would be his obesity. The tatoo on his back, which is the Japanese symbol for a Bull, has now stretched into a cow.
He has taken the crown from Juan Pierre as the most worthless player in baseball. It's too bad that the Dodgers are paying 27 million dollars for the two worst outfielders in all of baseball. The only way the saeson can be salvaged is if both of them left.
That might be the only way that Ned Colletti can save his job. Not only is he going to have to cut costs, but he is going to have to trim this dead weight. 350 pounds of useless Juan Pierre and Andruw Jones is a lot to ask, but he has to do it.
If he can find a good second baseman (Brian Roberts) and decent right fielder (Bobby Abreu or Brian Giles) he would definitely set us up to win. In the process, cut Kent, trade Lowe, call up Kershaw, and leave Nomar on the bench then we might actually have a blind shot at the WS. I wouldn't mind dropping a few prospects in the process to make it happen.
Furcal
Roberts
Abreu
Kemp
Loney
Martin
Ethier
Dewitt
P
Penny
Kershaw
Bills
Kuroda
Maddux
Saito
BrOXton
Beimel
Progdor
Wade
Kuo
Park
Nomar
Repko
Young
C
MIF
Andruw Jones is the worst player in baseball.
Who would have thought that 18 million a year would have bitten back so badly? Ned Colletti must be turning in his grave.
It's time that he have the "arthroscopic surgery" and get put on the 60 day DL. I say "arthroscopic surgery" because I don't think he is actually injured. He is just trying to blame something other than his obesity for his MLB worst performance.
Even if he is somewhat injured, the cause would be his obesity. The tatoo on his back, which is the Japanese symbol for a Bull, has now stretched into a cow.
He has taken the crown from Juan Pierre as the most worthless player in baseball. It's too bad that the Dodgers are paying 27 million dollars for the two worst outfielders in all of baseball. The only way the saeson can be salvaged is if both of them left.
That might be the only way that Ned Colletti can save his job. Not only is he going to have to cut costs, but he is going to have to trim this dead weight. 350 pounds of useless Juan Pierre and Andruw Jones is a lot to ask, but he has to do it.
If he can find a good second baseman (Brian Roberts) and decent right fielder (Bobby Abreu or Brian Giles) he would definitely set us up to win. In the process, cut Kent, trade Lowe, call up Kershaw, and leave Nomar on the bench then we might actually have a blind shot at the WS. I wouldn't mind dropping a few prospects in the process to make it happen.
Furcal
Roberts
Abreu
Kemp
Loney
Martin
Ethier
Dewitt
P
Penny
Kershaw
Bills
Kuroda
Maddux
Saito
BrOXton
Beimel
Progdor
Wade
Kuo
Park
Nomar
Repko
Young
C
MIF
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sanity restored.... kinda
It is apparent that Andruw Jones may need arthroscopic surgery to repair torn cartilidge in his right knee. What a blessing for the Dodgers! Now we don't have to put up with a leadoff hitter that makes more outs than anyone else followed up with a .170 hitter. If there were any way to get rid of Pierre, I would look into it. Maybe we can match him up with Laroche to get a decent second baseman?
Anyway, more on Jones. When he comes back, lets hope he doesn't come back as a 250 pound whale. And who is to say that this injury wasn't the direct cause of him being overweight? I'd love to see him come back after the all-star break trim and fit and deliver that game changing presence form a few years ago. Who am I kidding?... Lets just cut the guy now. Maybe we can sign Bobby Abreu next year to bat second behind Furcal?
Anyway, more on Jones. When he comes back, lets hope he doesn't come back as a 250 pound whale. And who is to say that this injury wasn't the direct cause of him being overweight? I'd love to see him come back after the all-star break trim and fit and deliver that game changing presence form a few years ago. Who am I kidding?... Lets just cut the guy now. Maybe we can sign Bobby Abreu next year to bat second behind Furcal?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!!!!
I thought we got rid of Grady Little this past offseason for the obvious reasons.
1. Batting Juan Pierre in the two hole nearly every day. If he's going to be in the lineup there is no reason to have him batting 2nd and not first or eigth. But, like expressed many times here before, Juan Pierre just shouldn't be playing period. Especially at the expence of quality at bats from Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Conclusion: NO JUAN PIERRE!
2. The Lineup. Last years linup was about as consistent as something that really isn't consistent. (I fail to find something obviously inconsistent other than the Dodgers lineup... do the work yourself) Other than Furcaal batting leadoff and Kemp batting third, who else has a spot in the lineup where they have batted there more than just a handfull of games? Kent in the cleanup spot? And he should likely be batting 5th or 6th.
Conclusion:
Furcal (Injured)
Ethier
Kemp
Loney
Kent
Dewitt
Martin
Jones
p
alt:
Martin
Ethier
Kemp
Loney
Kent
Dewitt
Jones
SS
P
3. Torre and Grady are notoriously bad at using the pitching staff wisely. No surprise there.
4. When do we consider bringing up the young talent? Andy Laroche? Hello? The kid is on fire in AAA and no doubt Dewitt should be starting at third but maybe there is a situation where Laroche can play 2nd or short while Kent and Furcal "rest". This is a continuous problem that the Dodgers have had for a few years now. Calling up the youth to give them an actual shot at showing what they can prove. This is a Ned Colletti snafu.
5. Where is Clayton Kershaw? (see #4)
6. I hate Bill Plaschke!
In Conclusion Joe Torre has proven so far that he is going to shuffle the lineup until he feels confortable with what they are doing. I'd rather the team and players start to feel confortable with what is going on , but Joe... as long as you are confortable, that's all that matters. Tonights lineup:
Pierre, LF
Jones, CF
Kemp, RF
Kent, 2B
Martin, C
Loney, 1B
DeWitt, 3B
Hu, SS
Lowe
great!
not...
1. Batting Juan Pierre in the two hole nearly every day. If he's going to be in the lineup there is no reason to have him batting 2nd and not first or eigth. But, like expressed many times here before, Juan Pierre just shouldn't be playing period. Especially at the expence of quality at bats from Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Conclusion: NO JUAN PIERRE!
2. The Lineup. Last years linup was about as consistent as something that really isn't consistent. (I fail to find something obviously inconsistent other than the Dodgers lineup... do the work yourself) Other than Furcaal batting leadoff and Kemp batting third, who else has a spot in the lineup where they have batted there more than just a handfull of games? Kent in the cleanup spot? And he should likely be batting 5th or 6th.
Conclusion:
Furcal (Injured)
Ethier
Kemp
Loney
Kent
Dewitt
Martin
Jones
p
alt:
Martin
Ethier
Kemp
Loney
Kent
Dewitt
Jones
SS
P
3. Torre and Grady are notoriously bad at using the pitching staff wisely. No surprise there.
4. When do we consider bringing up the young talent? Andy Laroche? Hello? The kid is on fire in AAA and no doubt Dewitt should be starting at third but maybe there is a situation where Laroche can play 2nd or short while Kent and Furcal "rest". This is a continuous problem that the Dodgers have had for a few years now. Calling up the youth to give them an actual shot at showing what they can prove. This is a Ned Colletti snafu.
5. Where is Clayton Kershaw? (see #4)
6. I hate Bill Plaschke!
In Conclusion Joe Torre has proven so far that he is going to shuffle the lineup until he feels confortable with what they are doing. I'd rather the team and players start to feel confortable with what is going on , but Joe... as long as you are confortable, that's all that matters. Tonights lineup:
Pierre, LF
Jones, CF
Kemp, RF
Kent, 2B
Martin, C
Loney, 1B
DeWitt, 3B
Hu, SS
Lowe
great!
not...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Tubbo
Dodgers' Jones isn't feeling weight of the world
Dodgers' $36.2-million free-agent signee is homer-less and, with a .105 average, isn't hitting even half his weight. But he doesn't appear worried, or even bothered.
April 13 2008
Talked to the Dodgers' Andruw Jones before Saturday night's game, and he whiffed again.
I wanted to know if the tubbo thought he could maybe hit his weight at some point this season. Calling the guy "tubbo" may not be best for him. But he is fat...
He said he's not fat and doing just fine, apparently envisioning himself as some sort of supermodel and weighing in with a .105 batting average. It is disturbing that Jones is in such denial. His weight is slowing him down a lot. He can't catch up to a 90 MPH fasatball and he can't stop swinging at offspeed junk outside the plate.
He said he's 240 pounds, and I said no way, and so he said, "Do you want me to go weigh myself?"
I said, "Yes, I do," and he said the scale was off limits to the media because as you know the Dodgers get their jollies making most areas around here off limits to people.
"Let's go," I said while leading him to the scale, and he checked in at 248 pounds. "My shoes are on," he said, sounding more like my wife than the Dodgers' center fielder. FAT!
I suggested a diet contest benefiting Mattel Children's Hospital at UCLA since I would like to drop a ton before a special event in June, but Jones wanted no part of it.
"You're hilarious," he said. "I don't have to prove really nothing." You don't have to prove nothing, but sure as better hell earn that 18 million tubbo.
I guess that's what happens when a team agrees to pay you $36.2 million over two years.
General Manager Ned Colletti said Jones' best weight is somewhere between 235 and 240. Colletti also said Jason Schmidt would help the Dodgers. Fat chance! Schmidt is done.
Manager Joe Torre, a former tubbo who dropped 20 pounds as a player and then went on to hit .325 and .363, said he could talk until blue in the face, but if Jones isn't buying it, it's not going to make a difference.
The Dodgers, though, have paid Torre to make a difference.
Jones said it doesn't matter what Torre thinks, and I guess that's what happens when a team agrees to pay you $36.2 million over two years. I'm beginning to not like Andruw Jones.
"That's their problem whatever they think; I have no problem with my weight," the tubbo said.
Maybe it's a problem and maybe it's not, I said, but when you come to a team, struggle and look like a player who just didn't care enough to be in shape when the season begins, it upsets fans.
"That's part of life," he said. "Good players get booed. Look at A-Rod." Oh Arod, the guy who hit 54 home runs last year and batted 314 with 156 RBI's and makes 12 million more than you. Dude when you get anywhere near that close you can put yourself up there, but the closest you've ever been is the left leg of AROD when he is peeing on you.
The tubbo should ever look that good in a uniform.
The fans in Dodger Stadium, catching the tubbo's act for only the fourth time at home in a Dodgers uniform, booed Jones on Friday night after another wretched performance.
They even booed him in pregame introductions Saturday night, and with runners on first and third in the first, he struck out -- the fans letting him have it again. Rightfully so!
In the third, with runners on first and second, he walked, a Dodgers highlight so far this season.
"I don't have to tell fans nothing," he said, and he certainly knows how to sell those Andruw Jones jerseys. "If they want to support me, fine; if they don't want to support me, that's their choice. I can't worry about what other people say. They're not God. And neither are you! You better start taking notice not about what we say but about what you do. Have you noticed that it's what you do that determines what we say to you?
"You get paid for what you do."
Well then, you seem to be terribly overpaid at the current time, I said.
Jones hit .222 last season, and the Dodgers gave him $36.2 million. What would they have paid him had he hit his weight?
"It's not the first time in my life I've struggled," said Jones, who struck out 51 times in the Braves' first 41 games last season.
I told him I had to admit he was improving, striking out 11 times in the first 10 games -- at that pace striking out only 45 times in 41 games.
"I'm not going to hit 27 home runs in April," he said.
"How about one?" I suggested.
Jones had four hits and the same slugging percentage as Juan Pierre before Saturday's game, then went 0 for 3 and struck out again. The extra weight and the smirk that always seems plastered across his face, while charming, make it seem at times that he just doesn't care.
"Do I have to be sad all the time?" he said. "My mom is still living, my dad is still living, and my mom thinks I'm fine and that's what matters.
"If I didn't care then why have I played more games than any other active player since 1997?" he said, maybe for the first time showing a little life. "We'll see when the season is over in September or August."
I had no idea the Dodgers' season might be over as early as August, but the way he's swinging the bat, it makes sense.
TORRE IS new on the job, so trying to help, I told him he's got it all wrong so far, playing Pierre when Matt Kemp should be in the lineup every game.
"We need to get Andruw started," he began, explaining why he has Jones in the every-day lineup.
If that's the case, until Jones hits one out of the park, that's another reason to put Kemp's power into the lineup.
"I can't concern myself with power right now," he said. "We need to generate some offense, and have to start small."
So that's why he's going with the shrimp over Kemp.
THE AUTOGRAPH situation is better at Dodger Stadium, but not much. The team is still not allowing anyone without a ticket into the field-level box seats, lining up all those who want an autograph in aisle 27 -- the line extending all the way to the concourse.
Field box-seat holders had complained about the autograph crunch, although at 6:12 p.m., with batting practice all but over for the Padres, only 28 people were sitting in the field boxes behind home plate, first and third bases. At 5:30, with the Dodgers taking batting practice, there were nine rich people in their seats.
Torre stopped to sign some autographs for the aisle 27 line, but when the Dodgers completed warmups, every player, including Schmidt who isn't doing much these days, walked by the youngsters as if they didn't notice a single one of them standing there.
Later, the Dodgers brought out Andy LaRoche, who is not eligible to play because of a broken right thumb, and had him sign for everyone who wanted an autograph -- with his right hand.
The Dentist, the team's new PR guy, was there from start to finish and was working to make everything work for the fans, but without the active players' cooperation, he better hope they never add LaRoche to the roster.
Good article TJ. Way to ask the tough questions and give us Dodgers fans the news.
Dodgers' $36.2-million free-agent signee is homer-less and, with a .105 average, isn't hitting even half his weight. But he doesn't appear worried, or even bothered.
April 13 2008
Talked to the Dodgers' Andruw Jones before Saturday night's game, and he whiffed again.
I wanted to know if the tubbo thought he could maybe hit his weight at some point this season. Calling the guy "tubbo" may not be best for him. But he is fat...
He said he's not fat and doing just fine, apparently envisioning himself as some sort of supermodel and weighing in with a .105 batting average. It is disturbing that Jones is in such denial. His weight is slowing him down a lot. He can't catch up to a 90 MPH fasatball and he can't stop swinging at offspeed junk outside the plate.
He said he's 240 pounds, and I said no way, and so he said, "Do you want me to go weigh myself?"
I said, "Yes, I do," and he said the scale was off limits to the media because as you know the Dodgers get their jollies making most areas around here off limits to people.
"Let's go," I said while leading him to the scale, and he checked in at 248 pounds. "My shoes are on," he said, sounding more like my wife than the Dodgers' center fielder. FAT!
I suggested a diet contest benefiting Mattel Children's Hospital at UCLA since I would like to drop a ton before a special event in June, but Jones wanted no part of it.
"You're hilarious," he said. "I don't have to prove really nothing." You don't have to prove nothing, but sure as better hell earn that 18 million tubbo.
I guess that's what happens when a team agrees to pay you $36.2 million over two years.
General Manager Ned Colletti said Jones' best weight is somewhere between 235 and 240. Colletti also said Jason Schmidt would help the Dodgers. Fat chance! Schmidt is done.
Manager Joe Torre, a former tubbo who dropped 20 pounds as a player and then went on to hit .325 and .363, said he could talk until blue in the face, but if Jones isn't buying it, it's not going to make a difference.
The Dodgers, though, have paid Torre to make a difference.
Jones said it doesn't matter what Torre thinks, and I guess that's what happens when a team agrees to pay you $36.2 million over two years. I'm beginning to not like Andruw Jones.
"That's their problem whatever they think; I have no problem with my weight," the tubbo said.
Maybe it's a problem and maybe it's not, I said, but when you come to a team, struggle and look like a player who just didn't care enough to be in shape when the season begins, it upsets fans.
"That's part of life," he said. "Good players get booed. Look at A-Rod." Oh Arod, the guy who hit 54 home runs last year and batted 314 with 156 RBI's and makes 12 million more than you. Dude when you get anywhere near that close you can put yourself up there, but the closest you've ever been is the left leg of AROD when he is peeing on you.
The tubbo should ever look that good in a uniform.
The fans in Dodger Stadium, catching the tubbo's act for only the fourth time at home in a Dodgers uniform, booed Jones on Friday night after another wretched performance.
They even booed him in pregame introductions Saturday night, and with runners on first and third in the first, he struck out -- the fans letting him have it again. Rightfully so!
In the third, with runners on first and second, he walked, a Dodgers highlight so far this season.
"I don't have to tell fans nothing," he said, and he certainly knows how to sell those Andruw Jones jerseys. "If they want to support me, fine; if they don't want to support me, that's their choice. I can't worry about what other people say. They're not God. And neither are you! You better start taking notice not about what we say but about what you do. Have you noticed that it's what you do that determines what we say to you?
"You get paid for what you do."
Well then, you seem to be terribly overpaid at the current time, I said.
Jones hit .222 last season, and the Dodgers gave him $36.2 million. What would they have paid him had he hit his weight?
"It's not the first time in my life I've struggled," said Jones, who struck out 51 times in the Braves' first 41 games last season.
I told him I had to admit he was improving, striking out 11 times in the first 10 games -- at that pace striking out only 45 times in 41 games.
"I'm not going to hit 27 home runs in April," he said.
"How about one?" I suggested.
Jones had four hits and the same slugging percentage as Juan Pierre before Saturday's game, then went 0 for 3 and struck out again. The extra weight and the smirk that always seems plastered across his face, while charming, make it seem at times that he just doesn't care.
"Do I have to be sad all the time?" he said. "My mom is still living, my dad is still living, and my mom thinks I'm fine and that's what matters.
"If I didn't care then why have I played more games than any other active player since 1997?" he said, maybe for the first time showing a little life. "We'll see when the season is over in September or August."
I had no idea the Dodgers' season might be over as early as August, but the way he's swinging the bat, it makes sense.
TORRE IS new on the job, so trying to help, I told him he's got it all wrong so far, playing Pierre when Matt Kemp should be in the lineup every game.
"We need to get Andruw started," he began, explaining why he has Jones in the every-day lineup.
If that's the case, until Jones hits one out of the park, that's another reason to put Kemp's power into the lineup.
"I can't concern myself with power right now," he said. "We need to generate some offense, and have to start small."
So that's why he's going with the shrimp over Kemp.
THE AUTOGRAPH situation is better at Dodger Stadium, but not much. The team is still not allowing anyone without a ticket into the field-level box seats, lining up all those who want an autograph in aisle 27 -- the line extending all the way to the concourse.
Field box-seat holders had complained about the autograph crunch, although at 6:12 p.m., with batting practice all but over for the Padres, only 28 people were sitting in the field boxes behind home plate, first and third bases. At 5:30, with the Dodgers taking batting practice, there were nine rich people in their seats.
Torre stopped to sign some autographs for the aisle 27 line, but when the Dodgers completed warmups, every player, including Schmidt who isn't doing much these days, walked by the youngsters as if they didn't notice a single one of them standing there.
Later, the Dodgers brought out Andy LaRoche, who is not eligible to play because of a broken right thumb, and had him sign for everyone who wanted an autograph -- with his right hand.
The Dentist, the team's new PR guy, was there from start to finish and was working to make everything work for the fans, but without the active players' cooperation, he better hope they never add LaRoche to the roster.
Good article TJ. Way to ask the tough questions and give us Dodgers fans the news.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Blaschke! ( the noice I make when I sneeze and puke at the same time)
In an effort that would make me vomit cheese doodles out my nose, Plaschke is at it again and he produced this.
Bill Plaschke:
Past becomes a present to Dodgers fans
A surprise pregame ceremony that had past players assume their old positions at Dodger Stadium becomes long moments of 'Look at that.' The McCourts hit a home run with this one.
April 1 2008
No. 50 started with No. 4. He likely means Dodgers stadium here. 50 years ago the Dodgers moved to LA and in their 4th year they finally moved into their new home at Chaves Ravine: Dodger Stadium. But the way he writes it can mean a number of things, especially if you continue reading. Is he talking about Brent Cookson (#50) or Bell Brand (#4). After racking my brain to try and understand the logic I had read half the article and missed just about everything that actually happened...
He appeared from behind a blue outfield wall, walked carefully across the deep green grass, startled huge cheers from a stunned Dodger Stadium crowd. Here we go...
Then, halfway to second base, he stopped, and so did our hearts.
Duke Snider had returned to center field. At the moment I'd take him over Pierre.
Fifty years after they arrived, the Dodgers are returning to Los Angeles. But they never left. How can they be returning if they never left?
From the dark Coliseum to the sunny Chavez Ravine, the milestone is being celebrated as a cornerstone, the Dodgers reminding us who they are, reminding us who we are. Because out of the blue I had to be given an identity card from a Dodgers security gaurd last week to remember who I was.
At Monday's opening day, Los Angeles was 56,000 Dodgers lovers with peanuts in their throats and Cracker Jack in their memories. Was someone choking? Peanuts in the throat sounds kinda dangerous. You gotta be old to remember cracker jack sold at the park!
During a surprising pregame ceremony, the field breathed Dodgers history, exhaling the sweetness of old stars, the smoothness of recent heroes, the shout that was Fernando, the whisper that was Sandy. Shouting, Whispering, again... It seems like all dodger fans do is whisper.
Who ever thought the McCourts could be so McCool? McThis Mctype Mcof Mcwriting Mcis Mcbeyond Mcold.
"This was way beyond cool," said former pitcher Jerry Reuss, an honoree. "You take cool, then go a step beyond, then a step beyond. This was something for which they have not yet invented a word." Plaschke invented it: McCool.
This was a 15-minute production that began with Snider walking alone to center field wearing a Brooklyn jersey. It continued with 40 other mostly uniformed former Dodgers stars appearing one by one from different parts of the outfield fence to man their old positions.
From left field marched Don Newcombe, the Dodgers' last remaining living link to Jackie Robinson. What about Scullie?
From right field ran Steve Sax, the Dodgers' last world champion second baseman.
From left field walked Maury Wills, the Dodgers' inventor of the stolen base. Because before Wills no one had ever stolen a base before.
From right field sprinted Steve Finley, whose division-title-clinching grand slam is still rattling around out there somewhere. This is cheap crap. Why would Finley be there? He played all of 3 months with us!
On and on the parade went, each name more surprising than the next, each figure accompanied only by the solemn announcement of his name and the tinkling of music from a "Field of Dreams" medley.
"With just Duke walking out in the beginning, fans weren't sure what was happening," Reuss said. "Then when they saw players coming from everywhere, when they realized what it was, it became surreal." See, the quotes are good. It's just the fictional writing that is crap.
Here was Bill Russell, making his first appearance on this field since his managerial firing a decade ago, running out to huge overdue applause deserved by one who has played more Los Angeles Dodgers games than anyone.
There was Eric Karros, the classy link from the past to the present, running out to the sort of applause that was often missing in those years. The applause for Karros lasted 24 minutes, because that's how long it took him to run to first.
They cheered Jimmy Campanis, and you wondered if they weren't also cheering the memory of his father. cheese doodles.
They cheered Don Miles, and he played in only eight games for those 1958 Dodgers -- only eight games in his career -- and you wondered how they knew? They didn't. they likely didn't even recognize him.
"I can just imagine what it was like in the stands," Reuss said. "There were grandfathers probably telling their sons about players they remember, and then those sons turning to their sons and talking about different players."
It was long moments of "Look at that!" and "Is that him?" and "Wow." Old typical Plaschke... putting words in out mouths. No doubt there were fans ooing and aahhing, why can't he put in a few quotes from the fans then?
Then, finally, it was the closing stretch of royalty, beginning with Fernando Valenzuela stepping from the dugout, one of the only two players who did not wear a uniform, of course not, he would never wear anything old, right? This doesn't make sense. 1) Fernando likely has to call the game on the radio for the spanish version and he didn't want to change clothes multiple times today. Not that the other players didn't, but to say that Fernando didn't wear it because it was "old" is just a bad speculation.
His cheers rattled the building, echoing into the entrance of another man from the left-field bullpen, Tom Lasorda, and you knew he was wearing a uniform because he never takes it off. I gotta admit, Tommy looks funny in a Uni. Kinda like an Oompa Loompa.
By now, everyone was standing, folks hooting and stomping and struggling to keep their composure. Stomping? Yeah, I usually stomp when I feel like I'm about to cry.
"And here came Sandy," said Manager Joe Torre.
Indeed, here came the cleanup pitcher (Cleanup pitcher? dominant, overpowering, masterful would have all been good words there, but cleanup pitcher... not. ), the final memory, Sandy Koufax, the only other player not wearing a uniform, as if anyone cared.
Koufax has been on this field maybe once in the last 25 years, he's so private, yet he came today because the owners asked, and he understood.
Once he stepped to the mound, the cheers still reaching to the center field hills, the current Dodgers players filed out of the dugout to show their own special appreciation by greeting their ancestors.
"It gave me goose bumps," Matt Kemp said.
The original idea was for Koufax to then end the ceremony by throwing out the first pitch, but, typically Sandy, he didn't want to do it alone, so he was joined by Carl Erskine and Newcombe.
Nobody was swinging, of course, but on that pitch, a home run was hit by the McCourts, who have proved to be worthy caretakers of the Dodgers culture. I'm surprised Plaschke can get anything done when he has Frank McCourts penis in his mouth.
They have rediscovered what the Fox Corp. had lost. They are rebuilding the glorious memories that years of chaotic behavior had eroded. It was because of McCourt that we didn't sign Vlad right?
When it comes to Dodgers history, the owners get it, they really get it. first lets fire everyone! Then hire a bunch or ex gnats.
The only Dodgers legend who was available but missing from Monday's ceremony was the ever-humble Vin Scully, who preferred to watch it from his broadcast booth, speaking only to announce that ceremonial first pitch.
Appropriately, the mere sound of his voice over the loudspeaker may have elicited the biggest cheers of the day.
"This was about connecting the last 50 years to the next 50 years," Jamie McCourt said. "The players today, their time has never passed, it will never pass. For Dodgers fans, three hours of a game is a lifetime of memories, and we want to celebrate that."
The creative force behind the pregame ceremony was the Dodgers' new chief marketing officer, an eternally bubbly guy named Charles Steinberg who has other surprises planned.
"Today, we were hoping to inaugurate a season in which families can bond with each other over their love of the Dodgers," he said.
Mission accomplished. While Plaschke is a horrible writer and even worse in his delivery, the idea to present something to the fans like this is a great gesture. My family and I have a special bond that no matter what is going on we can always talk dodger baseball.
Even the opposing San Francisco Giants did their part Monday, showing up as perhaps the worst team to play here in 50 years, barely making a peep in a 5-0 loss to the Dodgers and Brad Penny. Good one! Finally Bill has said something right.
But this wasn't about the game. This was about the culture. Lets play the season and think about the culture... and win every game from here on out.
This was about a nameplate over a locker next to Penny's in the Dodgers clubhouse.
"Tom Lasorda," it reads.
Penny hangs out with Lasorda so much, he insisted the former manager have his own locker, and so he does.
He wants him close. We want all those living memories close, don't we?
On this most splendid of Dodgers birthdays, they never felt closer. Stomp, stomp, stomp...
Bill Plaschke:
Past becomes a present to Dodgers fans
A surprise pregame ceremony that had past players assume their old positions at Dodger Stadium becomes long moments of 'Look at that.' The McCourts hit a home run with this one.
April 1 2008
No. 50 started with No. 4. He likely means Dodgers stadium here. 50 years ago the Dodgers moved to LA and in their 4th year they finally moved into their new home at Chaves Ravine: Dodger Stadium. But the way he writes it can mean a number of things, especially if you continue reading. Is he talking about Brent Cookson (#50) or Bell Brand (#4). After racking my brain to try and understand the logic I had read half the article and missed just about everything that actually happened...
He appeared from behind a blue outfield wall, walked carefully across the deep green grass, startled huge cheers from a stunned Dodger Stadium crowd. Here we go...
Then, halfway to second base, he stopped, and so did our hearts.
Duke Snider had returned to center field. At the moment I'd take him over Pierre.
Fifty years after they arrived, the Dodgers are returning to Los Angeles. But they never left. How can they be returning if they never left?
From the dark Coliseum to the sunny Chavez Ravine, the milestone is being celebrated as a cornerstone, the Dodgers reminding us who they are, reminding us who we are. Because out of the blue I had to be given an identity card from a Dodgers security gaurd last week to remember who I was.
At Monday's opening day, Los Angeles was 56,000 Dodgers lovers with peanuts in their throats and Cracker Jack in their memories. Was someone choking? Peanuts in the throat sounds kinda dangerous. You gotta be old to remember cracker jack sold at the park!
During a surprising pregame ceremony, the field breathed Dodgers history, exhaling the sweetness of old stars, the smoothness of recent heroes, the shout that was Fernando, the whisper that was Sandy. Shouting, Whispering, again... It seems like all dodger fans do is whisper.
Who ever thought the McCourts could be so McCool? McThis Mctype Mcof Mcwriting Mcis Mcbeyond Mcold.
"This was way beyond cool," said former pitcher Jerry Reuss, an honoree. "You take cool, then go a step beyond, then a step beyond. This was something for which they have not yet invented a word." Plaschke invented it: McCool.
This was a 15-minute production that began with Snider walking alone to center field wearing a Brooklyn jersey. It continued with 40 other mostly uniformed former Dodgers stars appearing one by one from different parts of the outfield fence to man their old positions.
From left field marched Don Newcombe, the Dodgers' last remaining living link to Jackie Robinson. What about Scullie?
From right field ran Steve Sax, the Dodgers' last world champion second baseman.
From left field walked Maury Wills, the Dodgers' inventor of the stolen base. Because before Wills no one had ever stolen a base before.
From right field sprinted Steve Finley, whose division-title-clinching grand slam is still rattling around out there somewhere. This is cheap crap. Why would Finley be there? He played all of 3 months with us!
On and on the parade went, each name more surprising than the next, each figure accompanied only by the solemn announcement of his name and the tinkling of music from a "Field of Dreams" medley.
"With just Duke walking out in the beginning, fans weren't sure what was happening," Reuss said. "Then when they saw players coming from everywhere, when they realized what it was, it became surreal." See, the quotes are good. It's just the fictional writing that is crap.
Here was Bill Russell, making his first appearance on this field since his managerial firing a decade ago, running out to huge overdue applause deserved by one who has played more Los Angeles Dodgers games than anyone.
There was Eric Karros, the classy link from the past to the present, running out to the sort of applause that was often missing in those years. The applause for Karros lasted 24 minutes, because that's how long it took him to run to first.
They cheered Jimmy Campanis, and you wondered if they weren't also cheering the memory of his father. cheese doodles.
They cheered Don Miles, and he played in only eight games for those 1958 Dodgers -- only eight games in his career -- and you wondered how they knew? They didn't. they likely didn't even recognize him.
"I can just imagine what it was like in the stands," Reuss said. "There were grandfathers probably telling their sons about players they remember, and then those sons turning to their sons and talking about different players."
It was long moments of "Look at that!" and "Is that him?" and "Wow." Old typical Plaschke... putting words in out mouths. No doubt there were fans ooing and aahhing, why can't he put in a few quotes from the fans then?
Then, finally, it was the closing stretch of royalty, beginning with Fernando Valenzuela stepping from the dugout, one of the only two players who did not wear a uniform, of course not, he would never wear anything old, right? This doesn't make sense. 1) Fernando likely has to call the game on the radio for the spanish version and he didn't want to change clothes multiple times today. Not that the other players didn't, but to say that Fernando didn't wear it because it was "old" is just a bad speculation.
His cheers rattled the building, echoing into the entrance of another man from the left-field bullpen, Tom Lasorda, and you knew he was wearing a uniform because he never takes it off. I gotta admit, Tommy looks funny in a Uni. Kinda like an Oompa Loompa.
By now, everyone was standing, folks hooting and stomping and struggling to keep their composure. Stomping? Yeah, I usually stomp when I feel like I'm about to cry.
"And here came Sandy," said Manager Joe Torre.
Indeed, here came the cleanup pitcher (Cleanup pitcher? dominant, overpowering, masterful would have all been good words there, but cleanup pitcher... not. ), the final memory, Sandy Koufax, the only other player not wearing a uniform, as if anyone cared.
Koufax has been on this field maybe once in the last 25 years, he's so private, yet he came today because the owners asked, and he understood.
Once he stepped to the mound, the cheers still reaching to the center field hills, the current Dodgers players filed out of the dugout to show their own special appreciation by greeting their ancestors.
"It gave me goose bumps," Matt Kemp said.
The original idea was for Koufax to then end the ceremony by throwing out the first pitch, but, typically Sandy, he didn't want to do it alone, so he was joined by Carl Erskine and Newcombe.
Nobody was swinging, of course, but on that pitch, a home run was hit by the McCourts, who have proved to be worthy caretakers of the Dodgers culture. I'm surprised Plaschke can get anything done when he has Frank McCourts penis in his mouth.
They have rediscovered what the Fox Corp. had lost. They are rebuilding the glorious memories that years of chaotic behavior had eroded. It was because of McCourt that we didn't sign Vlad right?
When it comes to Dodgers history, the owners get it, they really get it. first lets fire everyone! Then hire a bunch or ex gnats.
The only Dodgers legend who was available but missing from Monday's ceremony was the ever-humble Vin Scully, who preferred to watch it from his broadcast booth, speaking only to announce that ceremonial first pitch.
Appropriately, the mere sound of his voice over the loudspeaker may have elicited the biggest cheers of the day.
"This was about connecting the last 50 years to the next 50 years," Jamie McCourt said. "The players today, their time has never passed, it will never pass. For Dodgers fans, three hours of a game is a lifetime of memories, and we want to celebrate that."
The creative force behind the pregame ceremony was the Dodgers' new chief marketing officer, an eternally bubbly guy named Charles Steinberg who has other surprises planned.
"Today, we were hoping to inaugurate a season in which families can bond with each other over their love of the Dodgers," he said.
Mission accomplished. While Plaschke is a horrible writer and even worse in his delivery, the idea to present something to the fans like this is a great gesture. My family and I have a special bond that no matter what is going on we can always talk dodger baseball.
Even the opposing San Francisco Giants did their part Monday, showing up as perhaps the worst team to play here in 50 years, barely making a peep in a 5-0 loss to the Dodgers and Brad Penny. Good one! Finally Bill has said something right.
But this wasn't about the game. This was about the culture. Lets play the season and think about the culture... and win every game from here on out.
This was about a nameplate over a locker next to Penny's in the Dodgers clubhouse.
"Tom Lasorda," it reads.
Penny hangs out with Lasorda so much, he insisted the former manager have his own locker, and so he does.
He wants him close. We want all those living memories close, don't we?
On this most splendid of Dodgers birthdays, they never felt closer. Stomp, stomp, stomp...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fools!!!
You all know what I think of Plaschke. Just read my complaints about him below. If you can't see the obvious flaws in his thinking, writing style, or just have a hard time understanding anything about the man at all go to http://www.firejoemorgan.com/ to see what they think. Unfortunately this is no April Fools joke.
L.A. Times' Bill Plaschke top columnist, once again
Story posted on April 1, 2008
Bill Plaschke
Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times won the sports column writing category for the third time in four years, highlighting final judging results announced Tuesday in the 2007 Associated Press Sports Editors contest.
Plaschke has won the top columnist category back to back years and has placed in the top 10 eight of the past nine years. In the over-250,000 circulation division, Plaschke finished ahead of The Oregonian's John Canzano, followed by the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy, the Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock and the Washington Post's Mike Wise. In fact, Canzano was runner-up to Plaschke last year also.
"I'm feeling equally honored and humbled," Plaschke said. "I'm also feeling very lucky...
because every day I read columnists...
in all circulation categories who are good enough to win this award...
Sportswriters are at the forefront of the fight to keep newspapers relevant...
and I'm just proud to be one of them."
First-place columnists in other divisions were: Ted Miller of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (100,000-250,000), Peter Kerasotis of Florida Today (40,000-100,000) and Mark Edwards of the Decatur (Ala.) Daily (40,000 and under).
No newspaper had two first-place winners in any category. But Bill Reiter of the Kansas City Star, in the over 250,000 category, finished first in game story, third as part of a team in projects and third as part of a team in explanatory.
How it is possible that a man that likely would be a better Romantic fiction novelist gets voted as the best sports writer comulmnist is beyond me. We can literally look back at every column Plaschke has written and, after throwing up, see all the places he was dead wrong. I'm not talking about a misprint or a spelled word wrong, he specifically wrote the opposite of either what was going to happen, what should happen, or what he thought could be happening. Even after specific events his writing style targets such a minority (women) that even if they were reading the sports section, any woman would likely view such descriptions as homo-poetic.
L.A. Times' Bill Plaschke top columnist, once again
Story posted on April 1, 2008
Bill Plaschke
Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times won the sports column writing category for the third time in four years, highlighting final judging results announced Tuesday in the 2007 Associated Press Sports Editors contest.
Plaschke has won the top columnist category back to back years and has placed in the top 10 eight of the past nine years. In the over-250,000 circulation division, Plaschke finished ahead of The Oregonian's John Canzano, followed by the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy, the Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock and the Washington Post's Mike Wise. In fact, Canzano was runner-up to Plaschke last year also.
"I'm feeling equally honored and humbled," Plaschke said. "I'm also feeling very lucky...
because every day I read columnists...
in all circulation categories who are good enough to win this award...
Sportswriters are at the forefront of the fight to keep newspapers relevant...
and I'm just proud to be one of them."
First-place columnists in other divisions were: Ted Miller of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (100,000-250,000), Peter Kerasotis of Florida Today (40,000-100,000) and Mark Edwards of the Decatur (Ala.) Daily (40,000 and under).
No newspaper had two first-place winners in any category. But Bill Reiter of the Kansas City Star, in the over 250,000 category, finished first in game story, third as part of a team in projects and third as part of a team in explanatory.
How it is possible that a man that likely would be a better Romantic fiction novelist gets voted as the best sports writer comulmnist is beyond me. We can literally look back at every column Plaschke has written and, after throwing up, see all the places he was dead wrong. I'm not talking about a misprint or a spelled word wrong, he specifically wrote the opposite of either what was going to happen, what should happen, or what he thought could be happening. Even after specific events his writing style targets such a minority (women) that even if they were reading the sports section, any woman would likely view such descriptions as homo-poetic.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Oh! what a night.
It's debateable wether or not the Dodgers will ever trade Juan Pierre. Well, more than just debateable, it's downright lunacy if they don't! We all know his spring training numbers. Before I get to this article in which Ken Gurnick is doing his best Bill Plaschke imitation, let me tell you about last night.
LOS ANGELES -- Juan Pierre signed to be the Dodgers' everyday center fielder two winters ago. So did Nomar Garciapaara, Jason Schmidt, and Luis Gonzales. What's your point? When Andruw Jones was signed this past winter, Pierre learned that he was no longer the center fielder. The rest of LA including the current players on the Dodgers shouted for joy!
On Sunday, Pierre might learn he's no longer an everyday player, too. On Sunday? Are you telling me that he had no idea that his job may be on the line after the last 3 seasons? That he didn't know that playing badly might qualify him to be the highest paid batboy ever?!?!
"If they're going by the spring, I'll probably be sitting on the bench," said Pierre, who despite hitting .169 said he hasn't been pressing. That's comforting. Despite putting up putrid numbers that Michael Jordan could have beat, Pierre decided to take it easy. And if were only looking at the spring numbers something is wrong with the Dodgers staff. His numbers for the last 3 years have been discussed here adnauseum, and to think that all he has to do is get on base to be a starter... he doesn't even have to play good defense, or hit for power, or drive in runs, or be a good clubhouse guy.... all he has to do is get on base!!! Thankyou Juan Pierre for not being able to do anything good at all.
"It is what it is. It's a tough situation for me. I can understand being dissappointed in your play... But it really sounds like he is dissappointed that he isn't starting. Which makes no sense at all. I go out and play hard every day. But you're no good. You do realise that playing hard has nothing to do with talent right? But when you sign a five-year contract and you think you'll be in one spot and they go out and sign somebody to play your position and I certainly didn't have a horrible year. Only the worst year ever!!! I come in and everything's changed, well, it's the cards I've been dealt." Good on you to fold that crappy hand Pierre. Way to make lemonade, not out of lemons, but out of LEFT FIELD! When the Dodgers signed Jones, they backed you and said you would be the starting LF'er. No questions asked. You played your way out of a starting job.
Manager Joe Torre all spring has put off deciding who will flank Jones in the outfield among Pierre and young outfielders Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Ethier leads the club in home runs with six and is batting .365. Kemp had three hits Saturday night and is batting .307. Both have stronger throwing arms than Pierre. That's not just it. Throwing arms? That was an obvious difference between Pierre and Kemp/ Ethier. Some of the even more obvious differences is SLG, RBI, RS, OBP... just pick a stat other than steals and Kemp and Ethier blow Pierre away. Does that not spell "bench" to you?!?!
"It's a tough situation they created and put me in," batting 176 is the Dodgers fault? Look at what Bill Plaschke has started. When my brother and I were kids growing up and we'd get in trouble, what was literally the first response out of our mouths? "It's not my fault!" said Pierre. "It's one thing to move to left field, but now I don't even know if I'm going to play. And I'm at a point in my career, my game isn't diminishing. I don't know if you have checked out your stats over the last 3 years but... that's the definition of dimishing. I'm not 38 or 39 (he's 30). I'm not an old man."
Pierre, who hit .293 last year with 64 stolen bases, spent most of this Spring batting leadoff. But in recent games, Torre has dropped him to the bottom of the batting order, while Ethier and Kemp have remained in the middle of the batting order and Rafael Furcal has led off. Looks like Torre is doing what any normal, thoughtful, smart, baseball understanding, person would do.
Ken Gurnick is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs. Ken, maybe you should start the approval thing.
It's break-up season in Alaska. That doesn't mean I'm now on the market. Break-up is a time when the snow and ice starts to melt around town and makes for horrific traffic. Pot holes that were once covered in ice are now lakes of water ready to pounce on the unsuspecting motorist. Naturally my alternator went out on me and instead of taking it in to get fixed I decided to do it myself. Let me first say that I didn't get it done but not because I couldn't.
We have had a pretty consistent leaky faucet in our tub. It escaladed yesterday and I had to fix it. By the time I was done it was the 6th inning. So I thought I would tune into justin.tv or sopcast to watch the end of the game. Lets just say that it's good to know that Gamecast has updated their player. (Im watching the 86 playoff game between the yanks and sox on espn classic. I guess I never realized how bad those old uni's for the sox were. I have better looking pajamas!) Anyway, it was a dissappointing day/ night.
LOS ANGELES -- Juan Pierre signed to be the Dodgers' everyday center fielder two winters ago. So did Nomar Garciapaara, Jason Schmidt, and Luis Gonzales. What's your point? When Andruw Jones was signed this past winter, Pierre learned that he was no longer the center fielder. The rest of LA including the current players on the Dodgers shouted for joy!
On Sunday, Pierre might learn he's no longer an everyday player, too. On Sunday? Are you telling me that he had no idea that his job may be on the line after the last 3 seasons? That he didn't know that playing badly might qualify him to be the highest paid batboy ever?!?!
"If they're going by the spring, I'll probably be sitting on the bench," said Pierre, who despite hitting .169 said he hasn't been pressing. That's comforting. Despite putting up putrid numbers that Michael Jordan could have beat, Pierre decided to take it easy. And if were only looking at the spring numbers something is wrong with the Dodgers staff. His numbers for the last 3 years have been discussed here adnauseum, and to think that all he has to do is get on base to be a starter... he doesn't even have to play good defense, or hit for power, or drive in runs, or be a good clubhouse guy.... all he has to do is get on base!!! Thankyou Juan Pierre for not being able to do anything good at all.
"It is what it is. It's a tough situation for me. I can understand being dissappointed in your play... But it really sounds like he is dissappointed that he isn't starting. Which makes no sense at all. I go out and play hard every day. But you're no good. You do realise that playing hard has nothing to do with talent right? But when you sign a five-year contract and you think you'll be in one spot and they go out and sign somebody to play your position and I certainly didn't have a horrible year. Only the worst year ever!!! I come in and everything's changed, well, it's the cards I've been dealt." Good on you to fold that crappy hand Pierre. Way to make lemonade, not out of lemons, but out of LEFT FIELD! When the Dodgers signed Jones, they backed you and said you would be the starting LF'er. No questions asked. You played your way out of a starting job.
Manager Joe Torre all spring has put off deciding who will flank Jones in the outfield among Pierre and young outfielders Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. Ethier leads the club in home runs with six and is batting .365. Kemp had three hits Saturday night and is batting .307. Both have stronger throwing arms than Pierre. That's not just it. Throwing arms? That was an obvious difference between Pierre and Kemp/ Ethier. Some of the even more obvious differences is SLG, RBI, RS, OBP... just pick a stat other than steals and Kemp and Ethier blow Pierre away. Does that not spell "bench" to you?!?!
"It's a tough situation they created and put me in," batting 176 is the Dodgers fault? Look at what Bill Plaschke has started. When my brother and I were kids growing up and we'd get in trouble, what was literally the first response out of our mouths? "It's not my fault!" said Pierre. "It's one thing to move to left field, but now I don't even know if I'm going to play. And I'm at a point in my career, my game isn't diminishing. I don't know if you have checked out your stats over the last 3 years but... that's the definition of dimishing. I'm not 38 or 39 (he's 30). I'm not an old man."
Pierre, who hit .293 last year with 64 stolen bases, spent most of this Spring batting leadoff. But in recent games, Torre has dropped him to the bottom of the batting order, while Ethier and Kemp have remained in the middle of the batting order and Rafael Furcal has led off. Looks like Torre is doing what any normal, thoughtful, smart, baseball understanding, person would do.
Ken Gurnick is a reporter for MLB.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs. Ken, maybe you should start the approval thing.
Friday, March 28, 2008
BILL!!!
So...
Bill Plaschke hasn't written a Dodger article here for a while, so I thought I would shoot him an email why...
"We haven't heard much from you lately concerning the Dodgers. What's going on? I need some material here so I can rip on you some more. How's that Juan Pierre support club treating you?
He wrote me back!!!
"hang in there, dusto...(dusto??)...I will be a bulls-eye again next week when season opens.."
I responded with...
"Excellent!!!
There are a few guys on our blog (PSD) that support Juan Pierre. We thought you might be participating at our blog. If you didn't recognize my handle (Dusto) then you likely aren't "blogging" at PSD. Though it is possible that you are just incognito... "
I wouldn't doubt that when Andre gets the starting job he'll praise the team and difficult decision to "play the better player" without saying much about Pierre. Then he'll emotionally praise Ethier and give a huge background about the kid clawing his way through the minor leagues just to get blocked last year by Gonzo and now this year by Pierre. No doubt he'd include Andre's good looks and "heart throb" appearance and get all sappy about the kids future.
Bill Plaschke hasn't written a Dodger article here for a while, so I thought I would shoot him an email why...
"We haven't heard much from you lately concerning the Dodgers. What's going on? I need some material here so I can rip on you some more. How's that Juan Pierre support club treating you?
He wrote me back!!!
"hang in there, dusto...(dusto??)...I will be a bulls-eye again next week when season opens.."
I responded with...
"Excellent!!!
There are a few guys on our blog (PSD) that support Juan Pierre. We thought you might be participating at our blog. If you didn't recognize my handle (Dusto) then you likely aren't "blogging" at PSD. Though it is possible that you are just incognito... "
I wouldn't doubt that when Andre gets the starting job he'll praise the team and difficult decision to "play the better player" without saying much about Pierre. Then he'll emotionally praise Ethier and give a huge background about the kid clawing his way through the minor leagues just to get blocked last year by Gonzo and now this year by Pierre. No doubt he'd include Andre's good looks and "heart throb" appearance and get all sappy about the kids future.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Episode: 2
This second episode features a new challenge to the players.
A challenge many of them have likely never encountered.
A feat so difficult, the probability that some will not only go home, but go home with a right buttox inflamation is a likely possibility.
We are live on location here just outside the Right Field Pavilion at Dodger Stadium. Frank McCourt has generously donated a 35 million dollar, 6 million gallon water tank to hold today competitions. In those tanks are man eating sharks!
The players are separated into teams based on age. The over 30 group is one team. The under 30; the other group.
Our feature challenge this week is the mini-basketball/ home run derby/ swim for your life through shark infested water that has been lit on fire/ challenge.
The first portion of the challenge is difficult enough in its own right. Players have to be able to hit a mini-basketball a minimum of 100 feet while standing in a canoe.
After successfully hitting the minimum required distance of 100 feet the challenger must then swim the 360 feet circling the bases in shark infested water that has been lit on fire while dodging fastballs thrown by Clayton Kershaw!
If the player survives, he does it all over again until he is out or dead.
For every run scored, your team earns the right to vote another player "Out of the Ravine". The player with the most runs will earn a miniature of the miniature silver slugger award and IMMUNITY.
Batting leadoff for the "Old Cranky Fart Knockers", which is the over 30 group, is Juan Pierre.
Juan's small size and even smaller build should help him here to keep good balance while swinging in the canoe. It should also dispell the sharks seeing as he has no muscle or fat on his body at all. Infact I have a feeling he's missing bones in some areas. That should help him here. Bones really get in the way when you're trying to hit mini-basketballs for homeruns and swim through shark infested waters that have been lit on fire.
The real trick will be dodging those fastball by Clayton Kershaw. The young man has pinpoint accuracy and throws harder than anyone else in the game.
The great lack of power that will likely save Juan's life from the sharks will also keep him from being able to hit past the designated 100 feet.
Pitching in today's matchup is Larry Bowa.
As Juan takes his stance in the canoe, Larry tosses a mini- ball in his direction. Juan gently slaps the ball the other way and Larry immediately gets on his case.
"Hit the ball Frenchy!!! Like you mean it!!!"
As the second pitch arrives Juan swings with all his might...
and misses.
And falls in the water....
He quickly climbs back in the canoe, but not before Kershaw beans him in the groin.
Juan quickly shakes it off as that is the one bone he is missing.
Larry against shouts instruction to Juan. "Hey Frenchy! Try hitting it this time!!!", and giggles to himself.
Juan grips the bat.
Grinds his teeth.
And spits out a little bit of sea weed, and it lands on his jersey.
While he is cleaning it off, the pitch is thrown and he jumps up hit it.
The canoe rocks left...
Then right...
The momentum carries him to the ball in full force.
He connects and whails like a school girl.
Juan Dives into the water, dodging a heater from Kershaw.
Players from both teams stand in amazement as they watch the tiny Pierre avoid sharks, fastballs, and fire.
When he makes it to first base, he surfaces for air. But he must continue. No points are awarded for singles.
Down he goes, swiming past the sharks, under the fire, dodging fastballs by Kershaw.
He stops at second but just for a moment to catch his breath.
He pushes on to third, unnoticed by the sharks.
Instead of stopping at third he turns the corner and heads for home.
He stops midway between third and home to catch his breath, but only for a moment as a Clayton Kershaw fastball is aimed right at his head.
The ball connects and he panicks.
(the following events are quite graphic, viewer discression is advised)
In slow motion, mouths drop.
Russel Martin grins.
Brad Penny looks in shock.
Raffy Furcal throws both hands up in the air and laughs evily.
Andruw Jones drops all 8 hot dogs he's eating.
Juan is knocked unconscious, floating at the top of the water. His body is beginning to burn from the fire.
The sharks have heard his yelp.
They surround his lifeless body like... sharks... in a 6 million gallon pool, ready to pounce.
Juan awakes just before the first shark arrives. He begins to flail and dives under the water to put out the fire on his chest. His wounds are minor. But his fear is obvious.
He encounters the first shark with a quick slap on the nose. The shark looks perplexed and attacks.
Pierre swims for his life. To his incredible luck he is heading directly at home plate.
His paddling is quick and short, but it is no match for the shark. As he touches home plate to score a run, he is gobbled up and torn to pieces by 7 different sharks.
Furcal makes a call on his cell phone.
On the other end is Frank McCourt.
Raffy- "Hey, Frank. I have good news and bad news. Well, the bad news is that we lost today's challenge."
Frank- "Well, what's the good news?"
Raffy- "There's alot. You know that shark tank that you paid 35 million for. Well, it just paid for itself. And you no longer have to worry about trading Pierre. Turns out he was "shark bait". HAHA!!"
When the competition concluded it was apparent that the challenge may have been a bit "overboard".
The teams gather together and decide that losing Pierre was a necessary thing for the betterment of the team as a whole.
Jeff Kent secretly kisses the photo of Frenchy he keeps in his hat and says, "I'll miss you... my love"... he sniffles... snorts... and collapses.
A challenge many of them have likely never encountered.
A feat so difficult, the probability that some will not only go home, but go home with a right buttox inflamation is a likely possibility.
We are live on location here just outside the Right Field Pavilion at Dodger Stadium. Frank McCourt has generously donated a 35 million dollar, 6 million gallon water tank to hold today competitions. In those tanks are man eating sharks!
The players are separated into teams based on age. The over 30 group is one team. The under 30; the other group.
Our feature challenge this week is the mini-basketball/ home run derby/ swim for your life through shark infested water that has been lit on fire/ challenge.
The first portion of the challenge is difficult enough in its own right. Players have to be able to hit a mini-basketball a minimum of 100 feet while standing in a canoe.
After successfully hitting the minimum required distance of 100 feet the challenger must then swim the 360 feet circling the bases in shark infested water that has been lit on fire while dodging fastballs thrown by Clayton Kershaw!
If the player survives, he does it all over again until he is out or dead.
For every run scored, your team earns the right to vote another player "Out of the Ravine". The player with the most runs will earn a miniature of the miniature silver slugger award and IMMUNITY.
Batting leadoff for the "Old Cranky Fart Knockers", which is the over 30 group, is Juan Pierre.
Juan's small size and even smaller build should help him here to keep good balance while swinging in the canoe. It should also dispell the sharks seeing as he has no muscle or fat on his body at all. Infact I have a feeling he's missing bones in some areas. That should help him here. Bones really get in the way when you're trying to hit mini-basketballs for homeruns and swim through shark infested waters that have been lit on fire.
The real trick will be dodging those fastball by Clayton Kershaw. The young man has pinpoint accuracy and throws harder than anyone else in the game.
The great lack of power that will likely save Juan's life from the sharks will also keep him from being able to hit past the designated 100 feet.
Pitching in today's matchup is Larry Bowa.
As Juan takes his stance in the canoe, Larry tosses a mini- ball in his direction. Juan gently slaps the ball the other way and Larry immediately gets on his case.
"Hit the ball Frenchy!!! Like you mean it!!!"
As the second pitch arrives Juan swings with all his might...
and misses.
And falls in the water....
He quickly climbs back in the canoe, but not before Kershaw beans him in the groin.
Juan quickly shakes it off as that is the one bone he is missing.
Larry against shouts instruction to Juan. "Hey Frenchy! Try hitting it this time!!!", and giggles to himself.
Juan grips the bat.
Grinds his teeth.
And spits out a little bit of sea weed, and it lands on his jersey.
While he is cleaning it off, the pitch is thrown and he jumps up hit it.
The canoe rocks left...
Then right...
The momentum carries him to the ball in full force.
He connects and whails like a school girl.
Juan Dives into the water, dodging a heater from Kershaw.
Players from both teams stand in amazement as they watch the tiny Pierre avoid sharks, fastballs, and fire.
When he makes it to first base, he surfaces for air. But he must continue. No points are awarded for singles.
Down he goes, swiming past the sharks, under the fire, dodging fastballs by Kershaw.
He stops at second but just for a moment to catch his breath.
He pushes on to third, unnoticed by the sharks.
Instead of stopping at third he turns the corner and heads for home.
He stops midway between third and home to catch his breath, but only for a moment as a Clayton Kershaw fastball is aimed right at his head.
The ball connects and he panicks.
(the following events are quite graphic, viewer discression is advised)
In slow motion, mouths drop.
Russel Martin grins.
Brad Penny looks in shock.
Raffy Furcal throws both hands up in the air and laughs evily.
Andruw Jones drops all 8 hot dogs he's eating.
Juan is knocked unconscious, floating at the top of the water. His body is beginning to burn from the fire.
The sharks have heard his yelp.
They surround his lifeless body like... sharks... in a 6 million gallon pool, ready to pounce.
Juan awakes just before the first shark arrives. He begins to flail and dives under the water to put out the fire on his chest. His wounds are minor. But his fear is obvious.
He encounters the first shark with a quick slap on the nose. The shark looks perplexed and attacks.
Pierre swims for his life. To his incredible luck he is heading directly at home plate.
His paddling is quick and short, but it is no match for the shark. As he touches home plate to score a run, he is gobbled up and torn to pieces by 7 different sharks.
Furcal makes a call on his cell phone.
On the other end is Frank McCourt.
Raffy- "Hey, Frank. I have good news and bad news. Well, the bad news is that we lost today's challenge."
Frank- "Well, what's the good news?"
Raffy- "There's alot. You know that shark tank that you paid 35 million for. Well, it just paid for itself. And you no longer have to worry about trading Pierre. Turns out he was "shark bait". HAHA!!"
When the competition concluded it was apparent that the challenge may have been a bit "overboard".
The teams gather together and decide that losing Pierre was a necessary thing for the betterment of the team as a whole.
Jeff Kent secretly kisses the photo of Frenchy he keeps in his hat and says, "I'll miss you... my love"... he sniffles... snorts... and collapses.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Reality check.
The Dodgers currently have two players on the team that are out of options. Delwyn Young and Hong Chi Kuo. Both players have a pretty high upside and really low downside.
Delwyn obviously made an impression last year when he had something like 7 consecutive hits (I'm not exactly sure on that), but he reminds me of the impact someone with his talent can have with a bat. On the other hand, is his glove. And instead of using a glove he has a cast iron skillet glued ot his palm. The poor guy would likely have a shot a starting job if it wasn't for his turrubl defense. As a switch hitter that can absolutely rake, he isn't helping himself by batting 156 this spring. However, the club is basically forced to keep him on the roster so they don't have to face losing him to a needing team and getting nothing in return.
Kuo is a top notched talent and up until he started pitching for the Dodgers was lighting in a bottle. He was still pretty impressive but 4 elbow surgeries does not exactly spell consistent or healthy or reliable or sesquipedalian. Anyhow, it looks like he too will be on the opening day roster as a long reliever/ spot starter. A role I think better suited for Clayton Kershaw.
Could it be possible that we move both of these guys and maybe Greg Miller to the Cubs for Mark Derosa after they finally pick up Brian Roberts? Maybe a 3 way deal could be made where we give up the already mentioned players to the Orioles, the Cubs give up a few to the Orioles get Roberts.
I like Derosa because he is versitile enough to play any of the infield spots or the corner outfield spots. Maybe if we are really lucky we can throw Pierre in to ( I was going to say "sweeten", but... ) sour the pot. The cubs aren't exactly sold on Pie, but who would be sold on Pierre? That and he has 4 more years on his contract. There just is no room for a guy like him on basically any team.
Pierre isn't exactly helping himself either, by talking about playing time and his role with the team. Not to mention his turrubl play. Lets hope we can dump him and bronze the poo we get in return. Speaking of which...
Delwyn obviously made an impression last year when he had something like 7 consecutive hits (I'm not exactly sure on that), but he reminds me of the impact someone with his talent can have with a bat. On the other hand, is his glove. And instead of using a glove he has a cast iron skillet glued ot his palm. The poor guy would likely have a shot a starting job if it wasn't for his turrubl defense. As a switch hitter that can absolutely rake, he isn't helping himself by batting 156 this spring. However, the club is basically forced to keep him on the roster so they don't have to face losing him to a needing team and getting nothing in return.
Kuo is a top notched talent and up until he started pitching for the Dodgers was lighting in a bottle. He was still pretty impressive but 4 elbow surgeries does not exactly spell consistent or healthy or reliable or sesquipedalian. Anyhow, it looks like he too will be on the opening day roster as a long reliever/ spot starter. A role I think better suited for Clayton Kershaw.
Could it be possible that we move both of these guys and maybe Greg Miller to the Cubs for Mark Derosa after they finally pick up Brian Roberts? Maybe a 3 way deal could be made where we give up the already mentioned players to the Orioles, the Cubs give up a few to the Orioles get Roberts.
I like Derosa because he is versitile enough to play any of the infield spots or the corner outfield spots. Maybe if we are really lucky we can throw Pierre in to ( I was going to say "sweeten", but... ) sour the pot. The cubs aren't exactly sold on Pie, but who would be sold on Pierre? That and he has 4 more years on his contract. There just is no room for a guy like him on basically any team.
Pierre isn't exactly helping himself either, by talking about playing time and his role with the team. Not to mention his turrubl play. Lets hope we can dump him and bronze the poo we get in return. Speaking of which...
Friday, March 21, 2008
Poor guy...
Joey Gathright has this to say:
“I’m trying to pattern my game after Juan Pierre. I’m trying to become the best bunter I can be and really use that as a weapon. I think I’m getting better at it, but I know I can still improve quite a bit.”
If anyone thinks to pattern their game after Juan Pierre, think again. Ole' Slappy Mcpopup is literally one of the worst players in baseball history. Aside from his atrocious defense, lack of batting patience, and literally no power whatsoever, his speed all of a sudden becomes a useless entity. Joey Gathright, get ready for AAA.
“I’m trying to pattern my game after Juan Pierre. I’m trying to become the best bunter I can be and really use that as a weapon. I think I’m getting better at it, but I know I can still improve quite a bit.”
If anyone thinks to pattern their game after Juan Pierre, think again. Ole' Slappy Mcpopup is literally one of the worst players in baseball history. Aside from his atrocious defense, lack of batting patience, and literally no power whatsoever, his speed all of a sudden becomes a useless entity. Joey Gathright, get ready for AAA.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Dodgers "Survivor"
I was curious how the team felt about the current competition between Andre Ethier and Juan Pierre. It's obvious, even to the lay fan, that Andre is the superior player. He might not show up 6 hours early every day to work on his bunting, but at least he shows up every day. Something Pierre hasn't done for 3 years, figuratively speaking.
I wonder what Kent's opinion is now that Andre is outplaying Pierre, and has outplayed Pierre. I would like it if one of those Dodger's beat reporters would actually do some reporting for us. In the mean time we can play a little make-believe and say what we think it might be like in the Dodgers clubhouse.
Welcome to "Dodgers Survivor"!!! This weeks episode features our first "Vote and Trade" of the season. In an astonishing turn of events Juan has basically fell on his face, slapping grounders around the infield like he was Larry Bowa hitting "incessant earth scorchers" testing the infield defense. Too bad for Juan he is playing against major leaguers. However, against the girls soft ball team from his home town in Louisiana, the girls nicely curtsie and watch the ball dribble past their gloves. No wonder he got a 45 million dollar contract.
Andre Ethier on the other hand has really stepped up his game. Leading the team in basically all offensive categories and leading the league in HR, RBI's, anf OF assists. Jason Repko is also tied for the lead in RBI's with Ethier, both having 13. If Pierre gets traded today, not only will Ethier now be our starting left fielder, but Repko will take over as the 4th outfielder. A role he can manage better than Pierre and at a much cheaper rate. I'll take you to the live action, where the team is debating in their underwear, around a camp fire, surrounding home plate at Dodger Stadium.
Furcal complains about Pierre's lack of ability to 1) cover the outfield. 2) Bat behind him in the lineup.
"Man, the guy just don't know what he doin' out there! He's lost out there, picking his nose when the ball is hit to him. I usually have to play deep just to cover half the outfield for him. And don't even get me started on how many times I got thrown out at second because he tried to bunt his way on. You'all know my vote!"
Others chime in with similar comments. Kemp and Ethier both agree that if their playing time suffers because they have to give time to a scrub like Pierre... they would seriously question the direction the Dodgers front office wants the team to go.
Mark Sweeney decides to start the chant, "trade Pierre, for some hair! Trade Pierre, for some hair!"... the chant gains momentum and others pick up their bats. Around the fire they dance, swinging their bats over their heads and pounding them on the ground. Pierre wisely runs away, and in the dark tripps down the steps of the dugout.
As the chanting slows and laughter calms, Loney directs everyone to make a line infront of the voting booth.
A hidden camera captures the tabulation.
Matt Kemp writes in big bold letters "TRADE PIERRE" and slams it against the camera.
I wonder what Kent's opinion is now that Andre is outplaying Pierre, and has outplayed Pierre. I would like it if one of those Dodger's beat reporters would actually do some reporting for us. In the mean time we can play a little make-believe and say what we think it might be like in the Dodgers clubhouse.
Welcome to "Dodgers Survivor"!!! This weeks episode features our first "Vote and Trade" of the season. In an astonishing turn of events Juan has basically fell on his face, slapping grounders around the infield like he was Larry Bowa hitting "incessant earth scorchers" testing the infield defense. Too bad for Juan he is playing against major leaguers. However, against the girls soft ball team from his home town in Louisiana, the girls nicely curtsie and watch the ball dribble past their gloves. No wonder he got a 45 million dollar contract.
Andre Ethier on the other hand has really stepped up his game. Leading the team in basically all offensive categories and leading the league in HR, RBI's, anf OF assists. Jason Repko is also tied for the lead in RBI's with Ethier, both having 13. If Pierre gets traded today, not only will Ethier now be our starting left fielder, but Repko will take over as the 4th outfielder. A role he can manage better than Pierre and at a much cheaper rate. I'll take you to the live action, where the team is debating in their underwear, around a camp fire, surrounding home plate at Dodger Stadium.
Furcal complains about Pierre's lack of ability to 1) cover the outfield. 2) Bat behind him in the lineup.
"Man, the guy just don't know what he doin' out there! He's lost out there, picking his nose when the ball is hit to him. I usually have to play deep just to cover half the outfield for him. And don't even get me started on how many times I got thrown out at second because he tried to bunt his way on. You'all know my vote!"
Others chime in with similar comments. Kemp and Ethier both agree that if their playing time suffers because they have to give time to a scrub like Pierre... they would seriously question the direction the Dodgers front office wants the team to go.
Mark Sweeney decides to start the chant, "trade Pierre, for some hair! Trade Pierre, for some hair!"... the chant gains momentum and others pick up their bats. Around the fire they dance, swinging their bats over their heads and pounding them on the ground. Pierre wisely runs away, and in the dark tripps down the steps of the dugout.
As the chanting slows and laughter calms, Loney directs everyone to make a line infront of the voting booth.
A hidden camera captures the tabulation.
Matt Kemp writes in big bold letters "TRADE PIERRE" and slams it against the camera.
Russell Martin also writes that the Dodgers should trade Pierre and even makes suggestions as to which teams need a leadoff CF. "We can trade Pierre to the Reds, Cubs, Mets, A's, and even the Giants just for gitts and shiggles."
Nomar, Ethier, Penny, Saito, Loney, Jones, Furcal, and others give their vote. All in favor of trading Pierre.
Except for one...
One person decides not to vote for Pierre.
In a moment of weakness, and proabably because he didn't know the camera was there, Jeff Kent sheds a tear for Pierre as he is the only guy to vote for Slappy to stay.
Kent man's up, takes a biker magazine out of the back of his underwear, and collects himself before exiting the voting booth.
Loney opens the lock box and begins tallying the votes. He calls out "trade slappy! That's one for Pierre to be traded", and tallies it in the sand. The second is the same, as is the third and fourth.
The fifth vote however has a little bit of sticky man cream on it. Loney reads it, "I love Slappy Pierre. We need him exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, x o x o?". The team hushed in astonishment look one to another to find the imposter. Kent sniffles to himself quietly, and is caught by Raffy.
No one says a thing...
Moments later, Pierre is traded to the Oakland Athletics for the infamous PTBNL.
Thankyou Bluemouse for the inspiration.
Isn't it sad...
...that a blogger for the Pirates gets the Dodgers situation better than the Dodgers front office? http://www.bucsdugout.com/story/2008/3/18/14753/6976 Not that I am endorcing a Bucs Blogger to be working in out Front Office. Just maybe some food for thought?
3. Los Angeles Dodgers: They've got young talent out the wazoo, much of it major-league ready. Unfortunately, neither their GM (Ned Coletti) nor their manager (Joe Torre) inspire much confidence that the Dodgers will handle that young talent well. They're still talking about playing Juan Pierre in an outfield corner instead of Andre Ethier, which tells you most of what you need to know. And rather than just giving the third base job to prospect Andy LaRoche, the Dodgers were showing interest in veteran third baseman Brandon Inge. (LaRoche subsequently injured his thumb and will be out for another month or so.) If the Dodgers do win the division, it may look something like this: they lose 18 games in April, with Pierre and Nomar Garciaparra hitting .100 and Esteban Loaiza posting a 7.50 ERA. The Dodgers replace those guys with Ethier, LaRoche and Clayton Kershaw, and end up winning 90 games on the backs of those guys, Russell Martin, Matt Kemp, Chad Billingsley and James Loney. The Dodgers' talent is better than good enough to win the division, but I have no faith that the team's management will allow that to happen.
Too bad he doesn't realize that Laroche was probably going to start the season at third until the injury. Then they started talking about finding a replacement. I really hope the only reason they talked to the Tigers about getting Inge was to dump Pierre off on them.
3. Los Angeles Dodgers: They've got young talent out the wazoo, much of it major-league ready. Unfortunately, neither their GM (Ned Coletti) nor their manager (Joe Torre) inspire much confidence that the Dodgers will handle that young talent well. They're still talking about playing Juan Pierre in an outfield corner instead of Andre Ethier, which tells you most of what you need to know. And rather than just giving the third base job to prospect Andy LaRoche, the Dodgers were showing interest in veteran third baseman Brandon Inge. (LaRoche subsequently injured his thumb and will be out for another month or so.) If the Dodgers do win the division, it may look something like this: they lose 18 games in April, with Pierre and Nomar Garciaparra hitting .100 and Esteban Loaiza posting a 7.50 ERA. The Dodgers replace those guys with Ethier, LaRoche and Clayton Kershaw, and end up winning 90 games on the backs of those guys, Russell Martin, Matt Kemp, Chad Billingsley and James Loney. The Dodgers' talent is better than good enough to win the division, but I have no faith that the team's management will allow that to happen.
Too bad he doesn't realize that Laroche was probably going to start the season at third until the injury. Then they started talking about finding a replacement. I really hope the only reason they talked to the Tigers about getting Inge was to dump Pierre off on them.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Goofy Crazy Goofy...
So, I was up pretty late last night studying for a test today and in my delirium I came up with a trade idea. Hence the "goofy, crazy, goofy".
Send Abreu, Stults, Meloan, and Miller over to the Orioles for Brian Roberts. I wouldn't make this trade if we couldn't get rid of Slappy first.
So... send Slappy, Laroche, Elbert, Young, Kuo, Brazoban, and Orenduff over to the A's for Blanton and Chavez. We would totally empty our farm system, but whats the use in having it if you don't use it. These guy are never going to get to play because Ned is just going to keep on signing crappy vets.
Anyway, the lineup looks nice.
Furcal
Roberts
Loney
Kemp
Ethier
Jones
Kent
Martin
Next year Roberts moves over back to second and maybe Chavez is healthy again at 3rd.
The bench has
Chavez
Nomar
Repko
Bennett
Hu
ROTO looks nice too
Penny
Blanton
Bills
Kuroda
Lowe
and in the penn
Saito
BrOXton
Beimel
Proctor
Meyers
Loaiza
Schmidt
Who knows?... I don't. I'm just fishing for a way to get rid of Pierre.
Send Abreu, Stults, Meloan, and Miller over to the Orioles for Brian Roberts. I wouldn't make this trade if we couldn't get rid of Slappy first.
So... send Slappy, Laroche, Elbert, Young, Kuo, Brazoban, and Orenduff over to the A's for Blanton and Chavez. We would totally empty our farm system, but whats the use in having it if you don't use it. These guy are never going to get to play because Ned is just going to keep on signing crappy vets.
Anyway, the lineup looks nice.
Furcal
Roberts
Loney
Kemp
Ethier
Jones
Kent
Martin
Next year Roberts moves over back to second and maybe Chavez is healthy again at 3rd.
The bench has
Chavez
Nomar
Repko
Bennett
Hu
ROTO looks nice too
Penny
Blanton
Bills
Kuroda
Lowe
and in the penn
Saito
BrOXton
Beimel
Proctor
Meyers
Loaiza
Schmidt
Who knows?... I don't. I'm just fishing for a way to get rid of Pierre.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Join NOW!!!
This is the official site of the "He-man Pierre haters club".
Join up now by adding your name to the list in "comments".
Join up now by adding your name to the list in "comments".
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