Saturday, March 22, 2008

Reality check.

The Dodgers currently have two players on the team that are out of options. Delwyn Young and Hong Chi Kuo. Both players have a pretty high upside and really low downside.

Delwyn obviously made an impression last year when he had something like 7 consecutive hits (I'm not exactly sure on that), but he reminds me of the impact someone with his talent can have with a bat. On the other hand, is his glove. And instead of using a glove he has a cast iron skillet glued ot his palm. The poor guy would likely have a shot a starting job if it wasn't for his turrubl defense. As a switch hitter that can absolutely rake, he isn't helping himself by batting 156 this spring. However, the club is basically forced to keep him on the roster so they don't have to face losing him to a needing team and getting nothing in return.

Kuo is a top notched talent and up until he started pitching for the Dodgers was lighting in a bottle. He was still pretty impressive but 4 elbow surgeries does not exactly spell consistent or healthy or reliable or sesquipedalian. Anyhow, it looks like he too will be on the opening day roster as a long reliever/ spot starter. A role I think better suited for Clayton Kershaw.

Could it be possible that we move both of these guys and maybe Greg Miller to the Cubs for Mark Derosa after they finally pick up Brian Roberts? Maybe a 3 way deal could be made where we give up the already mentioned players to the Orioles, the Cubs give up a few to the Orioles get Roberts.

I like Derosa because he is versitile enough to play any of the infield spots or the corner outfield spots. Maybe if we are really lucky we can throw Pierre in to ( I was going to say "sweeten", but... ) sour the pot. The cubs aren't exactly sold on Pie, but who would be sold on Pierre? That and he has 4 more years on his contract. There just is no room for a guy like him on basically any team.

Pierre isn't exactly helping himself either, by talking about playing time and his role with the team. Not to mention his turrubl play. Lets hope we can dump him and bronze the poo we get in return. Speaking of which...

Friday, March 21, 2008

Poor guy...

Joey Gathright has this to say:

“I’m trying to pattern my game after Juan Pierre. I’m trying to become the best bunter I can be and really use that as a weapon. I think I’m getting better at it, but I know I can still improve quite a bit.”

If anyone thinks to pattern their game after Juan Pierre, think again. Ole' Slappy Mcpopup is literally one of the worst players in baseball history. Aside from his atrocious defense, lack of batting patience, and literally no power whatsoever, his speed all of a sudden becomes a useless entity. Joey Gathright, get ready for AAA.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Dodgers "Survivor"

I was curious how the team felt about the current competition between Andre Ethier and Juan Pierre. It's obvious, even to the lay fan, that Andre is the superior player. He might not show up 6 hours early every day to work on his bunting, but at least he shows up every day. Something Pierre hasn't done for 3 years, figuratively speaking.

I wonder what Kent's opinion is now that Andre is outplaying Pierre, and has outplayed Pierre. I would like it if one of those Dodger's beat reporters would actually do some reporting for us. In the mean time we can play a little make-believe and say what we think it might be like in the Dodgers clubhouse.

Welcome to "Dodgers Survivor"!!! This weeks episode features our first "Vote and Trade" of the season. In an astonishing turn of events Juan has basically fell on his face, slapping grounders around the infield like he was Larry Bowa hitting "incessant earth scorchers" testing the infield defense. Too bad for Juan he is playing against major leaguers. However, against the girls soft ball team from his home town in Louisiana, the girls nicely curtsie and watch the ball dribble past their gloves. No wonder he got a 45 million dollar contract.

Andre Ethier on the other hand has really stepped up his game. Leading the team in basically all offensive categories and leading the league in HR, RBI's, anf OF assists. Jason Repko is also tied for the lead in RBI's with Ethier, both having 13. If Pierre gets traded today, not only will Ethier now be our starting left fielder, but Repko will take over as the 4th outfielder. A role he can manage better than Pierre and at a much cheaper rate. I'll take you to the live action, where the team is debating in their underwear, around a camp fire, surrounding home plate at Dodger Stadium.

Furcal complains about Pierre's lack of ability to 1) cover the outfield. 2) Bat behind him in the lineup.

"Man, the guy just don't know what he doin' out there! He's lost out there, picking his nose when the ball is hit to him. I usually have to play deep just to cover half the outfield for him. And don't even get me started on how many times I got thrown out at second because he tried to bunt his way on. You'all know my vote!"

Others chime in with similar comments. Kemp and Ethier both agree that if their playing time suffers because they have to give time to a scrub like Pierre... they would seriously question the direction the Dodgers front office wants the team to go.

Mark Sweeney decides to start the chant, "trade Pierre, for some hair! Trade Pierre, for some hair!"... the chant gains momentum and others pick up their bats. Around the fire they dance, swinging their bats over their heads and pounding them on the ground. Pierre wisely runs away, and in the dark tripps down the steps of the dugout.

As the chanting slows and laughter calms, Loney directs everyone to make a line infront of the voting booth.

A hidden camera captures the tabulation.

Matt Kemp writes in big bold letters "TRADE PIERRE" and slams it against the camera.

Russell Martin also writes that the Dodgers should trade Pierre and even makes suggestions as to which teams need a leadoff CF. "We can trade Pierre to the Reds, Cubs, Mets, A's, and even the Giants just for gitts and shiggles."

Nomar, Ethier, Penny, Saito, Loney, Jones, Furcal, and others give their vote. All in favor of trading Pierre.

Except for one...

One person decides not to vote for Pierre.

In a moment of weakness, and proabably because he didn't know the camera was there, Jeff Kent sheds a tear for Pierre as he is the only guy to vote for Slappy to stay.

Kent man's up, takes a biker magazine out of the back of his underwear, and collects himself before exiting the voting booth.

Loney opens the lock box and begins tallying the votes. He calls out "trade slappy! That's one for Pierre to be traded", and tallies it in the sand. The second is the same, as is the third and fourth.

The fifth vote however has a little bit of sticky man cream on it. Loney reads it, "I love Slappy Pierre. We need him exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, x o x o?". The team hushed in astonishment look one to another to find the imposter. Kent sniffles to himself quietly, and is caught by Raffy.

No one says a thing...

Moments later, Pierre is traded to the Oakland Athletics for the infamous PTBNL.

Thankyou Bluemouse for the inspiration.

Isn't it sad...

...that a blogger for the Pirates gets the Dodgers situation better than the Dodgers front office? Not that I am endorcing a Bucs Blogger to be working in out Front Office. Just maybe some food for thought?

3. Los Angeles Dodgers: They've got young talent out the wazoo, much of it major-league ready. Unfortunately, neither their GM (Ned Coletti) nor their manager (Joe Torre) inspire much confidence that the Dodgers will handle that young talent well. They're still talking about playing Juan Pierre in an outfield corner instead of Andre Ethier, which tells you most of what you need to know. And rather than just giving the third base job to prospect Andy LaRoche, the Dodgers were showing interest in veteran third baseman Brandon Inge. (LaRoche subsequently injured his thumb and will be out for another month or so.) If the Dodgers do win the division, it may look something like this: they lose 18 games in April, with Pierre and Nomar Garciaparra hitting .100 and Esteban Loaiza posting a 7.50 ERA. The Dodgers replace those guys with Ethier, LaRoche and Clayton Kershaw, and end up winning 90 games on the backs of those guys, Russell Martin, Matt Kemp, Chad Billingsley and James Loney. The Dodgers' talent is better than good enough to win the division, but I have no faith that the team's management will allow that to happen.

Too bad he doesn't realize that Laroche was probably going to start the season at third until the injury. Then they started talking about finding a replacement. I really hope the only reason they talked to the Tigers about getting Inge was to dump Pierre off on them.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Goofy Crazy Goofy...

So, I was up pretty late last night studying for a test today and in my delirium I came up with a trade idea. Hence the "goofy, crazy, goofy".

Send Abreu, Stults, Meloan, and Miller over to the Orioles for Brian Roberts. I wouldn't make this trade if we couldn't get rid of Slappy first.

So... send Slappy, Laroche, Elbert, Young, Kuo, Brazoban, and Orenduff over to the A's for Blanton and Chavez. We would totally empty our farm system, but whats the use in having it if you don't use it. These guy are never going to get to play because Ned is just going to keep on signing crappy vets.

Anyway, the lineup looks nice.


Next year Roberts moves over back to second and maybe Chavez is healthy again at 3rd.

The bench has


ROTO looks nice too


and in the penn


Who knows?... I don't. I'm just fishing for a way to get rid of Pierre.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Join NOW!!!

This is the official site of the "He-man Pierre haters club".

Join up now by adding your name to the list in "comments".